


Time Illusions

by MagicGoneWild



Category: Bleach
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Betrayal, Blood and Gore, Bottom Hitsugaya Toushirou, Bottom Kurosaki Ichigo, Character Death, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lemon, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reconciliation, Slow Build, Suicide Attempt, Top Hitsugaya Toushirou, Top Kurosaki Ichigo, Yaoi, time reversal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-07-01 00:21:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15762759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicGoneWild/pseuds/MagicGoneWild
Summary: Ichigo starts college. First day of college is rough, most usually are; but this one might be a little more rough then others. What happens next could end in endless bliss or plummet him into a somber existence. When he encounters a situation beyond his control; will Ichigo endure what’s to come...or will he be broken?





	1. First Day

**Author's Note:**

> [[[VERY IMPORTANT]]]-THIS FIC TAKES PLACE RIGHT ABOUT WHERE THE ANIME ENDED, SO DON'T BE ALARMED. Hey all MagicGoneWild here haha, anyways this is my first fic and woooo what a lot of work it was, and to think i'm not even close to done *sighs* anyways don't kill me too hard in the comments. This is a darker fic and i'm creating it because there aren't many dark ones out there whahaha lol we need more so I bring to you this one. All of the original stuff belongs to its respective owner/s and I am not doing this to make any sort of profit (tho that'd be kinda nice) but purely for mine and hopefully your pleasure too. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short and somewhat bland (it is a slow build, or at least I try) but it gets better I promise. The second chapter is longer and I plan to update every two weeks but it might slightly be longer so as to do the proper error checks and potential needs of more detail. Anyways I’d like any ideas as to what you might like to see in the future of this fic. So please don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments and I’ll take them into consideration (no promises lol).

It was morning. The obnoxious, repeating sound of an alarm clock was blaring through the room. Today was a new school day for Ichigo. He finally heard back from a college he applied at the other day. Keio University was what he chose, not too far from home. Was he thrilled to be going? No especially today of all days. Ichigo shut off the alarm and started to open his groggy eyes. Hesitantly he sat up looking to see what time it was. 

“Ugh that’s right I set it early so i’d get there on time.”

The clock read 5:30 AM, which was not very pleasant to Ichigos eyes. He still lived with his two sisters and useless father. Ichigo turned and sat upright on his bed so his feet can touch the cold morning floor. 

“Better get to it then, no sense in setting an alarm if you’re not gonna follow it.” 

Ichigo grabbed some boxers, a shirt, pants, and socks before heading off to the bathroom for a morning shower. He dried off using one of the clean towels Yuzu had washed for him yesterday.

“I’ll have to thank Yuzu for doing this. She’s so responsible now it’s hard to remember her as an actual kid,” he thought in his head.

For his first day of college he had dressed pretty casually. He wore a black t-shirt with simple blue jeans. Ichigo then proceeded to go downstairs, after first glancing at the clock (5:50 AM) and grabbing a jacket. Once downstairs he made way for the kitchen to prep himself some breakfast. He decided on making cinnamon toast since his cooking skills were lacking and he wasn’t feeling like trying to cook today. He finished his breakfast and with school starting at 7:00 AM he decided he had some time to kill, and went to put on his regular everyday use shoes. Except only, he couldn’t find them. He looked around a little but still couldn’t find them.

“Where could they have gone? I swore I left them near the door.”

It wasn’t long until he noticed the white piece of scratch paper dangling from the front door.

“What’s this? A letter?”

Dear Ichigo,

Today is your first day of college, even if you are starting late. I’m sure you’ll already be on your way to school by the time I wake up. I hope you have an excellent first day! I know it might be a little tough, especially since your friends are attending colleges far out in other cities. But this just means you get to make more friends! I’m certain you will. I love you big bro (Karin told me to say that) and we hope to learn all about your day when you get home.

P.S: I threw out your old worn down shoes and got you some new ones. They’re in the closet in a box. You’re welcome. 

Yuzu

P.S P.S: Don’t act like a fool and make some friends. Yuzu’s worried about you. Hurry home quick bro.

Karin

Ichigo stood shocked for a minute but couldn’t help but smile and say “Ok.” He opened up the closet near the front door and there sat a black shoe box. The box brand were Oxfords. He opened the lid to the box to reveal a nice pair of black mens casual dress shoes. The price tag and label were taken off and scratched out. He wondered with mild curiosity how much they cost, but that quickly passed as he felt a hollow was nearby. Hastily he glanced at the clock (6:15 AM),

“I’ve got enough time,” he rushed.

Ichigo sat criss-cross on the floor and meditated for a few moments. He learned some time ago how to release his spirit by meditating. He kinda had to since Kon decided to up and go live in the soul society. Though it took him a while to get it down, he soon mastered being able to do it suddenly if the time ever came. Completing the releasing process, Ichigos spirit pops out of his body to reveal his soul reaper uniform.With Zangetsu by his side he hurried towards the hallows general location. 

The hallows wails could be heard instantly. It turned out to be only a few blocks away from where he lived. The hallows design was pretty basic of any regular hallow. Big white mask with black indentions, a dark grey skin color, large white bone covered hands and feet, and about 8ft tall. It was chasing a young kids soul down an alleyway. Easily a grade schooler with tan colored shorts and a blue zipped up jacket. The alley came to a dead end and the kid desperately tries to find a way up and over the wall. Meanwhile the hollow is closing in and is only mere feet away. The kid realizes he’s done for as the hollows large boney hand reaches out to grab him, whaling all the while doing so. The kid turns his face to the side and closed his eyes, tears starting to form when the foreign figure’s about to touch him. Ichigo uses his flash step and with one swift swing of his large blade, slices straight through the middle of the hallow purifying it.

The kid, face turned and eyes still closed is puzzled when what should have grabbed him by now hasn’t. He opens his eyes to see a tall man with orange hair, dressed in black, and wielding a large blade as long as his body. 

“Are you alright?” Ichigo asks.

“I-I think so. T-thank you so m-much mister!” the kid replied breaking down into tears.

“Hey, hey it’s alright you’re safe now.” Ichigo soothes. “I promise you’re safe now.”

“T-thank y-you!”

“Hey what’s your name, I’m Ichigo?” he continues to sooth.

“M-my name?”

“Yeah your name.” 

“My name’s Haru Kaidou.”

“It’s nice to meet you Haru. Listen do you know you’re a spirit?” Ichigo asks.

“Yes, someone else dressed like you told me I was but I didn’t believe him before but now I do. I’m trying to find my mommy but she disappeared into the sky and I don’t know where to go.”

Ichigo examines his soul chain and notices it’s got some length to it still so that must not of happened that long ago.

“Oh she did? Would you like me to send you to where your mother is now?”

“Yes please mister. I wanna see her very badly it’s been so long.”

“Ok, i’m just gonna tap you with the end of my swords hilt here you see (points at blades hilt) and then you’ll go flying into the sky to see your mom. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“You’re very brave you know that. Alright Haru time for you to go now.” 

Ichigo taps Haru on the forehead sending him off in a bright blue orb of energy whizzing through the sky.

“Now that that’s done I need to hurry up and get going,” Ichigo sighs  
Ichigo manages to get back to his body fast but no longer has any time to relax. 

“Holy crap! It’s 6:45 AM?!” Immediately standing.

He grabs his keys, his wallet, his phone, and his backpack (which he prepared the night before) and practically bursts out the door, barely sparing any time to lock the front door.

“I’m gonna miss the train! I’m gonna miss the damn train!”

 

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Ichigo ended up having to take the next train having missed the first one. Which didn’t come another half hour later. Late to his first class was not how he imagined his first day would go. He was sure he’d be lectured by his family after this. He sat on a bench near the train station being the only one around, he took in the fresh morning dew and exhaled. He wondered if his friends all made it to school on time. He wondered how Rukia and Renji were doing, he even wondered what Kon could be doing. Feeling slightly depressed and out of it he almost missed the second train.

Quick to his feet he boarded the train finding a seat, which wasn’t very hard due to the lack of people on board. He took a spot near the window and not long after he’d seated himself the train started moving. Thinking about his friends who are far away now was depressing so he opts in instead for listening to music. He pulls out his ipod and selects his “Peaceful” playlist. A nice mellow piano embraces his ears, slowly calming his nerves. 

Ichigo finally arrives at Keio University, a whole hour late. “So much for waking up early,” he thought. Spotting the entry doors he finds his way over to them while stuffing his ipod and headphones into his side hanging backpack. Hesitating for the second time today, he ever so slowly opens the door. Keio University has three multi-leveled buildings with five floors each. He was in building two. Straight ahead of him were the check in kiosks with eight metal detectors. He scanned his ID then put his backpack, phone, wallet, and key in a bin through the belt. Walking through the machine with no hassle he hastily grabs his stuff and makes for the front office. 

Once he entered the office he saw one very long desk type structure that had at least eight cubicles. The office lady closest to him had short blond hair, with dangling earrings, brown colored eyes, and was in what appeared to be a pant suit. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” the office lady ask.

“Hi, I’m new here and I need a class schedule. If it’s not too much trouble?” Ichigo says feeling a little under-dressed.  
“Certainly! Can I have your first and last name please?”

“Ichigo Kurosaki,”

“Ok, do you have your ID?” she holds out her hand expectantly.

“Um yea, here you go.”

She scans the card then the printer next to her computer starts roaring to life.

“Here you go, your ID, and it looks like your in classroom 108 that’s lucky means you’re on the first floor. Here’s your schedule and a map of the building. Class 108 is down that hall, to the left, and it’s your first right. You can’t miss it, enjoy your day!” she informed pointing to the hall located to the Ichigos right.

“Thanks you too.” He said walking to his first class.

 

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Ichigo decided that studying to work in his dad's clinic was the best course of action for him to take. This way he still gets to be close to his family and still gets be a soul reaper. It was his lunch break now but in his rush out the door this morning he’d forgotten to grab his lunch that Yuzu made for him. So he was forced to pay out of pocket for a school meal. It wasn’t much just your typical turkey sandwich and chips. The sandwich was a little bland though. Yuzu could make one better he thought. The chips were nothing special either, just the plain old and boring salted kind. He knew he was most definitely sure to be reprimanded now, because not only was he late for class he also forgot his lunch. Today has not been good to him so far. Towards the end of his lunch break he sensed yet another hallow. Further away this time. Although something seemed off about this one and he couldn’t quite pin what it was that was eating at him about it. Having missed enough school time today and because the hallow was a distance away he decided to leave it up to the soul reapers guarding the town. But that nagging ache never left him, maybe it’s because it was a little too close to home, and he was just feeling a little insecure.

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Schools over and Ichigo could not be more happy about it. He pours on outside with all the other students making his way to the train station to get home and rest. His brain’s pulsating from today's school related activities. He boards the train lucky enough to squeeze his way in, not taking no for an answer. A few minutes later and he’s getting off and walking home. As he’s walking down the street he lives on, he notices some flashing lights down the way, as well as a gathering crowd. He wonders what the commotion all about. Realizations strikes him like a lightning bolt that that’s just outside his house. That nagging ache in his chest has come back tenfold. Ichigo tries to rationalize by saying it's probably an injured patient, nothing to worry about. 

Ichigo reaches his house. Cops are blocking entry to it and he can’t see through the crowd of people. He squeezes his way through yelling “Move! Let me through!” At last he gets to the front of the crowd and tells the officer that he lives here. He ducts under the tape and moves to where he can get a clear view. 

“YUZU!!!” Ichigo screams at the top of his lungs, before he takes off running towards the house (4:37 PM).


	2. Time Stands Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!!!!!WARNING PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!  
>  This chapter depicts strong blood and gore and is meant for mature audiences. If you don't like this stuff then I recommend you don't read this. But for all those that do like this stuff please enjoy.

“Move! Let me through!” Ichigo yelled. As he found his way towards the front he gasped at the sight before him. He stood in complete shock and terror, the small crowd settles down to an eerie silence. So many feelings were surging through Ichigo that his sight started to blur. ”This isn’t real. This isn’t real. It can’t be real.” He kept repeating the same line over and over in his head. He tried to close his eyes but couldn’t seem to shut them, “This is a dream, or a prank, yeah.” The sudden realization however dawned on him, crushing his heart with ease and sending him into a full blown panic. The front of the house looked as if it had been mauled, large scratch marks 3 to 4ft long, and a large portion of the roof had collapsed in. Half of the front door was barely hanging by a screw, swinging ever so slightly, and large indentations in the walls indicating the house suffered massive pounding. The main support beam for the upstairs bedrooms seemed to be the cause of the collapsing, but nothing could be seen through the rubble and stirring dust.

“YUZU!!!” Ichigo screamed stumbling through the front door, ignoring the policemen, and not caring for the door finally falling off it’s last hinge. 

“Yuzu, Karin, Dad, where are you?” he spoke frantically. On the inside scattered debris littered the floor, swirling up and around him with every step he took. Ichigo had to cover his nose and mouth with his elbow, trying is best to breathe through this. He walked over broken chairs, the tables in the dining room which was right next to the living room seemed burned, and half of the living room was scorched as well, leaving the other half as if it were trampled. The cause of this was a hollow, Ichigo had zero doubt. He just hopes and prays his family is safe. He works his way up the stairs and finds Karin’s room has collapsed in on itself. However the door was still somewhat in tack, leaving ichigo to struggle with forcing it open. Managing to brace the door open he looks to see if his sister's inside. 

“Karin are you in here?” He asks while praying she isn’t.

“Ichigo?” came a small weak voice with a series of coughs.

“Karin, where are you? Can you move?”

“No i’m stuck Ichigo I can’t move.”

“Karin! Don’t worry I’ll be right there!” Ichigo says already working to lift and move pieces of the wreckage out of his way.

“Ichigo please be careful.” she says weakly.

“Don’t speak, save your strength. I’m on my way.” he breathes 

“Ichigo, i’m scared. I can’t move my legs. It hurts Ichigo! My, my legs...”

“Don’t worry i’m coming. Just don’t think about it, instead think about playing soccer at the park. With the wind in your hair and you just scored a goal.”

Ichigo had to remove quite a bit of shingled wood to find Karin, but eventually he found her. Each piece he removed weighed at least 50 pounds, putting a constant strain on his body. However it was all worthwhile for after removing a large piece of splintered wood from his path, his heart lifted to see the spot revealing his sister. That heart lifting moment rapidly fled as tears instantly started to stream down his face at the appalling figure, called his sister. Her skin wore that of a haggard white. She was laying on her left side, her right arm covering her head as if to shield herself, and her left arm was limp and inclined at an awkward position indicating that it was broken. One of the main support beams had landed on her legs crushing them completely. Her legs stood out against her pale skin, tainted a dark violet and were steadily pooling out crimson blood. The force of the impact caused the blood within her legs to expand and rupture through various places in her calves and ankles.

“Karin! Karin i’m here! I’m so sorry, I should’ve been here. I’m so sorry! Somebody help me! Help my sister, please!” he frantically said without giving himself time to breathe. 

“Ichigo, you’re blurry. Is that really you? I don’t feel well, it hurts Ichigo, help me.” she asked moving her right arm out of the way so she can see. Dried tears stained her cheeks with new ones starting to form.

Ichigo took Karin's hand “Yes it’s me, I’m here now don’t worry we’re gonna get you fixed up. Your gonna be alright! You’ll be feeling better in no time.” He sobbed

With decisive movements the paramedics arrived to assist Ichigo in lifting the beam up and off her maimed legs. Karin screamed at the sudden release of the beam, that was no longer crimping the blood flow to her legs, sending her into a coughing fit. Her pain was unmeasurable and the damage was catastrophic. Her legs were utterly demolished, with a discernible crimson stained bone protruding from the skin. “She’s lost a lot of blood. The damage is severe, I don’t know if she’ll make it” Ichigo overheard the paramedics say.

“No she has to, you must help her, please!” Ichigo begged. 

“We’ll do our best sir.” one of the paramedics said.

They began emergency services and carefully arranged Karin on a stretcher.

“Ichigo. Yuzu, help Yuzu she was in the kitchen cooking an…” Karin attempted to voice as she passed out.

“Yuzu” Ichigo thought. He couldn’t stomach almost forgetting about the rest of his family, his family was everything to him. Karin said Yuzu was in the kitchen, but he didn’t remember seeing her down there. Allowing himself to stop being pessimistic about Karin for the moment, he diverts his attention to that of his other sister. 

"Whatever it is, i'll make it pay." he said coldly.

Ichigo sprints downstairs to examine the kitchen more thoroughly. It was just as he ascertained, Yuzu wasn’t there. There was however a semi-large hole in the wall, about five foot tall and four foot wide, that he did miss. The hole lead outside leaving a somewhat worn down trail. He wasn’t sensing any hollows at the moment but assumed briskly that she was taken by one or worse, but he wouldn’t allow himself to go that far with his thinking. Footprints were clearly visible, identifying this hollow as rather hefty and most likely very stagnant. 

Already tracking the path with post haste, Ichigo notices it doesn't lead quite that far away. It takes him down a narrow road, across a dreary field, and then ducking somewhere behind a building. When he rounds the corner that urges him behind the building, he was aghast at the sight of a very large hollow about 10ft tall with what appeared to be a star shaped mask. It was unequivocal to him that this particular hollow had the ability to camouflage its presence. Of course this hollow's size nor its abilities was what petrified him stone still. There in the hollows mouth did Yuzu abide, whom of which the hollow decidedly took his time with consuming. Piece by agonizing piece did Ichigo watched his sister being devoured right in front of him, incapable of taking action. Ichigo turned drastically despondent. He lost all sense of the hope and centered tranquility he had. He felt the light of his soul being lacerated with the dullest blade conceivable; with every single fleeting moment. 

“Move body, MOVE!” he thought, but no matter how greatly he struggled to will himself to move, he simply couldn’t. Fear struck deep as he watched the hollow do its work. Ichigo simply stood there with an endless abundance of tears flowing from his now bleak, red eyes, and his mouth agape. Traumatized thoughts drew him back to a time where he was a grade school boy and his mother was unjustly claimed by a monster. All of his mournful, most depressing feelings came flooding back to him, causing him to nearly blackout. Yuzu’s lower half of her body was wholly devoured when the hollow took notice of him. The hollow concluded his chewing then pulled the rest of Yuzu’s upper half out of his mouth, towing her by the arm as it did so. Ichigo’s mind was in ruins and he couldn’t make sense of what was up and down, therefore he didn’t take notice the hollows current actions. The hollow raised Yuzu up and chucked her straight at Ichigo. Ichigo’s skull came into direct contact with Yuzu’s, sending him soaring a good few feet backwards from the impact; the resounding crack echoing off the walls.

Dazed, when he came to several moments later unable to comprehend what just happened, he looked over to his sisters lifeless upper half and innards trailing out, laid right next to him with her lifeless eyes, facing him. Ichigo shrieked in agony, wanting desperately to get away; for all his suffering to end right here and now. Cruor had showered its way onto everything nearby, staining Ichigo’s jeans a crimson red. Weeping over his sister incapable of looking at her, he didn’t notice the hollows approach. The hollow wailed while it grabbed Ichigo by his head and lifted him four feet off the ground. It found great taste in Ichigo as it started savoring the salty tear mixed blood oozing from Ichigo’s head, which he hardly noticed was there do to the adrenaline. With his mind in such turmoil releasing his spirit to fight as a soul reaper was futile. Coldly welcoming his fate to just give up, he shouted hysteria lacing each and every word, “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? JUST KILL ME ALREADY!”

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Isshin Kurosaki was on his way home from a very long shopping trip. He’d decided to pick up plenty of party gear so as to celebrate Ichigo’s first day of school. He also wanted to distract his son from recalling that today was the anniversary of his mother's untimely demise. He’d spent half an hour deciding on what cake he should get. He kept debating whether or not to choose carrot cake or chocolate coconut cream, or perhaps the strawberry with cherry frosting. He couldn’t decide and ended up getting all three. It was a lot of cake to put it bluntly, but he was certain that between him and his three kids they were up to the challenge. He did wonder though what Yuzu might think of all the sugar being consumed...he’ll just take the lecture afterwords and move on from there. He also settled on getting party hats and all sorts of kiddy party toys, like those kazuus and stuff, along with all the items Yuzu had asked him to pick up for her.

“Potatoes, check. Carrots, check. Celery, check. Onions, lemons, spices, check check check. Beef, check, and last but not least Rice, check.” Isshin ran down the list. Seeing that he got everything on it and plus some.

“Now to get home.”

Isshin went shopping at a city market that was having unreal deals that he just couldn’t refuse. The only problem was it was clear on the other side of town. Stubborn as he was he went anyways, but he felt satisfied walking out of the store with all the merchandise that should’ve costed him a pretty pennies worth, but got it all for at least 50 percent off. Isshin was probably only ten minutes away from home, when he observed that there were quite a few police cars up an about. He pondered with mild curiosity on what was going on, but chose to stay focused on the soon to be party at hand. 

(5:30) He pulled onto the street of which his house is located upon. While approaching his home he finds there’s a small crowd of people gathered in the street, and multiple police cars parked nearby. Isshin parks the car across the street and gets out to see what all the commotions about. He works his way through the crowd, some people recognizing him and clearing out of his way, until he can see his house as a whole. Stupor and worry settled in fast, as he examined his house from a distance.

“It looks like a train wreck. Excuse me officer what happened here where are my kids?” Isshin asked frantically.

“This is your house sir? Are you Isshin Kurosaki?” the officer asks.

“Yes that’s me, now how about you answer my questions.” he demanded.

“Well sir i’m sorry to inform you of this but your daughter Karin is in intensive care and your other daughter Yuzu I believe it is, is currently missing. But we’re still checking through the debris.”

“What! How? What about my son, where is he?” he asked.

“Oh your son, right Ichigo was it? Kid with orange hair?” the officer inquired.

“Yes him, what about him?” Isshin spoke frustration edged into his voice.

“He actually stopped by and helped uncover your daughter Karin’s whereabouts. But now he seems to have disappeared somewhere.”

“You mean he's missing?” Isshin corrects.

“Uh, yes sir, he is.”

Isshin moves to go inspect his house the police officer following him. Once inside he immediately takes notice of all the damage done, and the large hole in the wall.

“Your daughter Karin was found upstairs and appeared to be severely injured. I’m not sure how bad though seeing as I was brought up to speed after her departure to the hospital.” the officer informed.

“What happened here?” he asked already knowing what this was caused by.

“We’re not sure sir, but I assure you we’ll get to the bottom of this.” said the officer feeling determined.

“That’s comforting to know. Can I have a minute to myself please?” Isshin played at being pleased to hear that, but didn't care much for the officers thoughts.

“Yes of course.” the officer responded.

Isshin was already walking to the large hole in the wall, because it gave him a nagging feeling, that that was something he needed to investigate. He noticed the clear trail the hollow made and assumed Ichigo followed after it. He too started following the trail, all the while frantically seeking the slightest glimmer of Ichigo’s spirit energy. He caught onto something intriguing and concentrated harder on it. 

“It’s faint...No it’s being obscured somehow, but not good enough.” Isshin analysed picking up his pace.

He anticipates a battle ahead so he resolves to go full blown soul reaper to increase his speed. While running he released his spirit and proceeded towards Ichigo’s energy. Not caring for a second that his body just crash landed face first into the dirt.

“I’m coming Ichigo. Just hold on!” Isshin prayed in his head.

Isshin was moving as fast as he possibly could when he heard an terribly loud scream. He almost didn’t recognized that voice but it was most certainly Ichigo. Isshin's thoughts started going haywire when he heard that scream. It racked his very soul down to its core. He’s never heard Ichigo like that before, and whatever it was that had pulled such a horrendous sound out of his son, was going to pay dearly. Isshin finally found Ichigo he was being held by his head and was about to be stuffed into a hollows mouth. He briefly noticed the corpse on the ground not far from Ichigo but didn’t have time to fully inspect it. Isshin had to be quick to react, launching an energy blast “Getsuga Tenshou!” the destructive nature slices straight through the hollow, like a butter knife would butter. The gates to hell then suddenly appear and the hollows black soul was sucked inside, then the gates were gone just as suddenly as they arrived.

Ichigo starts to fall but Isshin uses his flash step to catch him. He grabs Ichigo who is falling in and out of conscious. Ichigo seemed to fall fully unconscious as soon as he was in his father hands. It was then that Isshin noticed the corpse on the ground. He fell to his knees, still holding Ichigo tight. He began to cry softly to himself at first, but then his lamenting grew louder. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry Ichigo, I should’ve been there! This is my fault. All of this is my fault!" He sobbed for a couple of moments before he pulled out Ichigo’s phone and one of Kisuke’s portable gigai’s. He slipped into his gigai and called the police. He soon hung up having informed the police of his position and the situation, and slipped back out of his gigai to go get his real body quickly. He returned shortly with his real body to notice someone has stopped by.

Deeply mortified, Rukia asks frantically “What happened!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to get good right? whaahaha again if I have any typos or misspelled words let me know in the comments and i'll fix them when I can.


	3. Urgent Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? An update? And totally not when I said I would...oopsie. Now I know what other writers truly mean by unmotivated. So not according to plan so sorry. But I hope you like this one Shiros in it haha...somewhat.

“Captain. We have a problem.” Akon states.

“Oh, what is it now? Can’t you see i’m in the middle of some very important research?” Mayuri blabs.

“It’s the living world sir...some of the posted soul reapers haven’t reported in and are now considered missing.” he says robotically.

“What? Are you sure?” Mayuri spats with mild annoyance. 

“Yes, sir. We can’t gain contact with them. What are your orders?”

“Hmm...send a hell butterfly to Jushiro and have him deal with it. Now leave me be. I’m far too busy to be dealing with such nonsense.”

“Yes captain.” Akon replies duty-bound before exiting.

“What were the captain's orders?” asks Hiyosu.

“Send a hell butterfly to captain Ukitake informing him of the situation. Then ask him for his assistance in the matter. Post haste.” Akon relays.

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The peaceful rings of the hell butterfly found themselves being heard in Jushiro’s ears as he rested. Jushiro noticed it instantly and sat straight up to hear its contents. The favor was simple, two soul reapers have gone missing and his squad was asked to investigate their sudden disappearance. “I should probably send someone who’s familiar with the area, so as to move things along, and I know just who to send.” He thinks to himself.

“Sentaro, Kiyone.” Jushiro calls.

“Sir!” they say in unison entering the room and already in a pose like that of a servant.

“Go fetch Rukia Kuchiki. It’s of the utmost importance, so be quick about it please.” he commanded.

“Yes captain!” both Kiyone and Sentaro reply in unison sensing this was a serious matter, just before taking off almost tumbling into one another as they did so.

“I wonder what could of happened…” he puzzles.

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Rukia was basking in the peacefulness of the seireitei, with the beautiful cherry blossoms now in bloom. All of which reminding her of her brother and everything he’d done for her, ushering in a sense of nostalgia, as it prompted her thoughts to that of a certain orange haired shinigami and his heroic deeds to try and save her life. She often wondered how he was doing and felt somewhat guilty for never visiting him more. “I imagine he’s doing just fine. I mean he still talks to Orihime right? He needs a female presence to whip him back into shape.” she thinks. Whilst reminiscing in memories of old, she very nearly disregarded those who approached her.

“What is it?” Rukia inquires 

“Lieutenant Kuchiki Rukia, the captain wants you…” Sentaro starts

“Urgently with no delays.” Kiyone finished.

“I understand. Then let's waste no time in complying.” Rukia states sensing the tense atmosphere.

‘Of course something would happen. It’s rare for the soul society to just enjoy a day of peace, before something ruins it.’ she reflects. 

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“Rukia i’m glad you got here quickly.” Jushiro thanks.

“Of course sir...what’s the issue?” she asks.

“Two soul reapers have gone missing and I want you to explore this case to find out where, when, and why they’ve disappeared.” he explains

“I understand. I assume i’ll be leaving immediately then...is there anything else sir?” she queries, sensing her captain wasn’t finished.

“Regarding the matter at hand I will be expecting a full report from you before long. That’s all for now. The senkaimon has already been prepared for your travels. Please be alert and always on your guard. This situation troubles me and I can only trust you to complete this task. Make sure to inform district twelve if anything comes up, no matter how small the matter may be. Go now and be careful.” Jushiro urges

“Consider it done sir, and you don’t have to worry, I will be coming back.” Rukia states hastily making way for the door.

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“Rangiku! Stop drinking and finish your paperwork! And clean this mess up!” Toushirou shouts frustratingly.

“Oh come on captain, you should loosen up...here have a drink.” Rangiku slurs stretching her hand out gesturing a drink. 

“Why do I even bother. I’m going out...I need some fresh air. I expect this mess of yours to vanish by the time I get back.” he states coldly shutting the door on his way out.

“What mess?” she turns around. “Huh?” she whines loudly. “There’s so much, I couldn’t of done all this. He’s so mean...leaving me to clean it up, all by myself.” she pouts a little. Alcohol bottles littered every inch of captain Hitsugaya’s quarters, but Rangiku seemed to of missed...or forgotten the ever climbing number of them. This habit of hers began not long after Gin had died by Aizen's blade. The memory lasted a mere flicker, sobering her up some, “Fine...i’ll do it in ten minutes,” she voices before making her way from the small table, toppling over the mountains of bottles, and onto the light brown couch to try and compose herself before her taunting tears dawn.

Toushirou was casually walking his way around the seireitei embracing how serene it all felt. It was a welcomed feeling, considering his duties were overwhelming him as of late. His subordinate wasn’t of any help at all either. Cold hearted as he may seem he understands people's feelings better than he likes to lead on. His stoic outer appearance is but a guard that defends him against prying eyes. Should someone gleam just a piece of his personal interests or thoughts...it could ruin his image completely. Or so he believes. Some things are better left in the dark. There they can’t harm anyone, most of all himself. He realizes such ideals probably aren't healthy, but his knowledge of others thought processes doesn’t suede his firm resolve on the matter. Maybe one day he’ll let someone in, it’s not very likely, of this he’s pretty certain. 

Toushirou found himself being drawn in the general direction of the senkaimon. He didn’t know why. It was like an invisible force was pulling him so, like an itch that just needs to be scratched. He was in no rush however to go anywhere, in hopes it gives his subordinate more time to clean up the mess she made. His office seems to be taking on a permanent stench of alcohol these days. ‘I understand that Gins death has caused her great distress, but it’s been almost two years now. I don’t know when she’ll finally allow herself to move on, if she even does at all. I suppose i’ll let it slide for now, but I can’t forever. Maybe some necessary force to push her out of the dreary state she’s in, or maybe someone for her to talk to. Something...anything that’ll help her come out of the whole ordeal. Come out of it feeling less depressed that is. I know she doesn’t like talking about it and that’s her problem. She’s bottling it up. I have to find a way to loosen her lips to talk it out somehow, but how to go about doing such…’ he ponders a moment. ‘I’ll just have to find someone whose situation is similar to hers. Of course that’s easier said than done.’

Adrift amongst his thoughts he comes about a commotion near the senkaimon, which yanks his attention. He’d gotten there faster then he’d hoped. Whilst lost in his thoughts the hurried footsteps of others around him almost went unnoticed. It was unlike him to get absorbed into his mind and the plethora of thoughts it contains. He didn’t like it but supposed it wasn’t a bad thing. Allowing his feet to carry him away he monitored the movements of the soul reapers below form a higher up balcony. He had a perfect view there, it wasn’t far, but clearly visible from the senkaimon. One only need look up to see him. 

“I wonder what that’s all about…” he says to himself.

“Hmm...I believe that has something to do with some missing soul reapers that were posted in the human world.” 

Startled Toushirou looks around to find Captain Shunsui Kyoraku leaning against the railing, watching the events unfold before him. He was so lost in the antics of his subordinate that he hadn’t noticed a captains spiritual presence was nearby. He now regrets his previous statement of his spacing out not being a bad thing. Quickly regaining his composure and asks... 

“Missing soul reapers?” Toushirou inquires playing cool, hoping Shunsui didn’t take notice of his startled complexion.

“Yea some posted soul reapers never reported in and since then it’s been escalated to where they have to send someone out to investigate. Who they choose though i’m not sure of.” Shunsui explained pouring himself another drink from his tokkuri.

“I see, and here I thought today was gonna be uneventful. Do they have any leads?”

“None that I know of, so whoever’s investigating is going in blind.”

“That’s interesting.”

“What is?” Shunsui asks.

“Well it's just these types of things don’t usually happen when they’re under the watchful eyes of the twelfth division. They almost always have and explanation or reason of what happens in the human world. It’s odd that they haven’t any knowledge of the cause for the sudden disappearances of soul reapers over there.” Toushirou elaborates.

“Yeah, that is strange...but I suppose we’ll find out soon though. I just hope it’s nothing too serious. Hey, take a look.” he points to a soul reaper about to go through the senkaimon. “I think that’s the one who’s going to investigate.”

“Wait a second, I believe that’s Lieutenant Rukia Kuchiki of squad thirteen.” 

“Is it? Yes I think your right. A shame what happened to the previous lieutenant. I think I heard through the great vine that him and Rukia were close” Shunsui says taking a closer look.

“Oh really? I didn’t know about that. If they’re sending someone of her rank out there then it must be serious.” He catches Rukia turn to catch a glimpse of him, it was brief and almost made him second guess it ever happening.

“I sincerely hope not. I can’t imagine the paperwork...maybe we’ll get lucky and the guards just got lost somewhere.”

“Yea maybe. Well I should be going...my lieutenant should be done cleaning by now. Hopefully this turns out to be nothing but a misunderstanding.” Toushirou says, doubt lacing his words as he turns to leave.

“Yea hopefully. Are you sure you wanna go though? Why don’t you just relax a minute and have a drink? You look like you could use one.” Shunsui inspects the smaller captain.

“I’m afraid i’m gonna have to pass on that one. I still have far too much paperwork that needs finishing. Thanks anyways.” Toushirou says walking away. ‘Why do I keep getting offered drinks today? I don’t look that stressed do I?’ he broods.

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Rukia’s running through the Senkaimon and is feeling slightly complex. ‘That was Captain Hitsugaya and Captain Kyoraku. What were they doing there? Did they hear about my mission? Is it really that serious to warrant the oversight of the captains?’ Her confusion wasn’t unwarranted, having seeing two captains near the Senkaimon during this particular situation unnerved her. ‘Perhaps i’ll enlist Ichigos help. I’m sure he’s not to busy, plus this’ll give me the opportunity to whip him back into shape. He’ll love my special training.’ She concludes as a grin creeps its way onto her face. The thought of seeing him again after such a long time relieves some of her building tension.

After exiting the Senkaimon Rukia proceeds with her investigation, but not before taking in the scenery she had yearned to see for quite some time. The unique architecture never failed to take her breath away. The type of buildings here were industrial and large. The streets filled with an abundance of people fumbling about. The lights that would blossom this time of day. These are the things she wished she could see everyday. She could however go without the obnoxious cars. Having become so use to it all, she once again was overcome with a bold sense of nostalgia, bringing back memories of _not _the best times but their acceptable highlights also. Number one being Ichigos rather reckless and downright foolish attempt to save her life. She still couldn’t believe he’d broke into the soul society for her, but at the same time she probably should’ve expected such to happen. However ludicrous the situation was Ichigo touched her heart. He’d gone above and beyond for her. Something no one had done before. She was so furious to see him on the bridge of the repentance cell and avoid her, but was also very happy, after having confronted him first. Knowing what he must of gone through, thoroughly impressed her. The unmatched loyalty and clear resolve to protect his friends, to protect her, by risking everything he had, had pierced her heart. So it goes without saying she would do the same for him as well. After that she started to see Ichigo in another light one that has her walking on the edge of sanity. At that moment on the bridge Ichigo looked so strong, his taut muscles looking just so...__

__Snapping out of her trip down memory lane and some rather questionable thoughts she got back to the reason she was here in the first place. ‘Right, the first place to start is to uh...investigate where they went missing. That’s it, okay, from my current position i’ll have to go across town for one. I’ll call that spot ‘B’. The other one though is relatively close. That’ll be spot ‘A’. Guess i’ll start there then.’ she analyzes already making way for site ‘A’. It didn’t take her long to get to site ‘A’. Upon reaching it though she didn’t notice anything worth a closer look. The only thing that she did find or more like sense, was strange traces of spirit energy. She didn’t know what to make of it. She didn’t know how or what to classify it as. Be it a hollow or something else. Left with even more questions and no answers she proceeded to site ‘B’._ _

__‘What was that spirit energy? I’ve never felt anything like it. It felt eerily threatening. I’m not sensing any hollows nearby and my Denreishinki isn’t picking anything up either. What’s going on? Whatever it is, maybe Ichigo’s involved with it. I can sense his spirit energy not far from spot ‘B’. His spirit pressure seems heavy, with what though, i’m going to find out. With any luck he’s probably already got an idea as to what’s happened around here, and has solved the issue.’_ _

__Opting instead of going to site ‘B’ Rukia decides to go straight for Ichigo. Having sensed another spirit energy popping into existence near Ichigo's she brings her current rate of speed up to its very max, not liking the panicked energy that just came up. She was nearing the scene and nearly fell into a large trench. Realizing it must've been Ichigo's Getsua she followed it to it’s source. What she saw next Immobilized her. Ichigo was laying on the ground passed out from what seemed to be pain, if his beaten up face was any indication. Ichigo's beaten up body wasn’t what truly landed her in this abysmal part of hell on earth. No, it was Yuzu, or more specifically what was left of her, which lied not far from where Ichigo was. Then someone showed up...someone she recognized. Tears clearly evident in both one another's eyes she coldly demanded “What happened!”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! finally wrapped up that missing bit now onward to the next one. Don't know when it'll get uploaded but rest assured it will.


	4. Hatred & Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awe hello dearies, I've got an early Christmas gift for you! Plan to get another chapter out before the holidays, now a success. Hope you enjoy!

__

_“Where am I?”_  
_Ichigo was in pitch black as far as he could see, like an endless void of nothing. He didn’t feel pain or suffering here, nor did he feel happiness or joy. He just felt nothing...and that’s exactly how he wanted it to be. He’d take feeling nothing over anything at all, at the moment, so much so he concluded that he never wanted to leave this place._  
_“Am I dead?” he breaths reticently._  
_“The last thing I remember was…” his breath caught as a light flickered on._  
_He was blinded by the sudden brightness and before he knew it he was in the middle of long dark hallway. The walls old and rundown, the wooden floors seemingly plagued with termites, rust was clearly visible on the the metal light fixtures, and the lights emitting an eerie crimson glow._  
_“Ichiiiii…” sang a voice reverberating through the walls._  
_“Who’s there?!” Ichigo yells._  
_“It’s me Ichi. Don’t you remember?”_  
_“Yuzu?! Is that you?”_  
_“You don’t look so good Ichigo. Why are you shaking?”_  
_“I’m not! Tell me where you are!” he demands frantically._  
_“I’m right behind you silly.”_  
_Ichigo hesitantly turns around to see Yuzu at the end of the hall. He couldn’t speak, he mouthed words but not sound came out._  
_“Come and get me Ichigo” she chuckles going down another hallway.  
_ _“Yuzu wait!” he follows._

__

_Blood started to trickle down the walls; the stench of rustic iron flooding his senses causing him to dry heave, when he hears Yuzu scream._  
_“Yuzu!” he screams running down the halls._  
_“Help me Ichigo!”_  
_Ichigo frantically runs down countless numbers of corridors before coming to a clearing. He stops to see that water is everywhere. He’s already knee high in it. He looks back the way he came to find a wall of fire blocking his path._  
_“Ichi-go?” she stutters coughing up blood, edging its way down her cheek and into the water._  
_Ichigo stares ahead unable to move._  
_“Why won’t you help me Ichigo? Do you not love me anymore?” Tears of blood flow from her eyes._  
_Ichigo still can’t move, can’t even move his jaw to speak as he trembles petrified, and his eyes sting as he weeps._  
_“I’m sorry I failed you Ichi. Please forgive me!” she closes the distance between them standing on the water which has darkened to more like that of a venom. She grasps him by the throat and clenches down vigorously. Ichigo peers into her engorged lackluster eyes as she drains the life from his cold wilting body, all the while powerless to do anything about it, like dust in the wind.  
_ _“Why won’t you help me Ichigo? Why?! Do you not love me anymore?!” she repeats over and over like a mantra, until finally snapping his neck with ease, as if breaking a twig._

 

Ichigo shoots straight up with a scream. He was panting and out of breath. He tried to look around but the sun's gaze scorched his eyes. He gave his eyes some time to adjust before opening them completely. His mind was foggy as he noticed he was sweating and in a bed not his own. Building up the courage to open his eyes completely he observed his surroundings. A steady beeping could be heard as well as footsteps in the distance. It didn’t take him long to register that he was in a hospital. If the machines he was hooked up to were anything to go by.  
Next to his IV drip on his right was a metal stand that had flowers and a “get well” card. Just past the stand was a built in couch with several more bunches of flowers. His room was simple, there were two doors, one to his left and one to his right. The one closer to him on his right not far from his bed he assumed was a bathroom as the other had a large blinded window next to it. The couch was next to the bathroom with a large window just above it for the glaring sun to make its way through, and his hospital bed was a few feet from the bathroom door up against the wall. There was a small tv mounted on the wall directly ahead of him and the door out of the room just a few feet to the left of that. 

Ichigo took the get well card preparing to read it, until he noticed there was blood on his hand. His boggled mind then cleared and all his horrific memories came rolling back. He remembered everything, Karin and Yuzu, and then his dream. He remembered feeling useless and stone cold. His heart rate started increasing relentlessly along with the beeping of machines. The machines started sounding alarms as Ichigo started to pant faster, failing to catch his breath his head getting light, and his heart began aching. Someone came rushing in but he couldn’t tell who it was before he passed out.

When Ichigo awoke this time all of his mind was intact, or as best as it could be. A nurse walked in, most likely doing a routine check he concluded. She was in your typical medical get-up. White short sleeved shirt with pockets containing medical supplies and long white scrubs. Her eyes were a baby blue hidden behind her glasses and her hair bright blonde bundled up in a bun. As she was staring at her clipboard Ichigo took his time to speak.

“What happened?” his voice came out hoarse.

“Oh, you’re up.” she examined him.

Ichigo merely stared waiting for his question to be answered. Her voice was calming like silk or velvet.

“Right, well Mr. Kurosaki if you’re referring to your episode earlier...according to your chart you had a panic attack. We had to sedate you to level out your breathing.” she stated.

Ichigo nodded “How did I get here?” he asked.

“It says here you were checked in by your father, Mr. Isshin Kurosaki for...trauma delt to the head. You had a concussion and earlier were re-bandaged.”

“What about my sisters?” he was hesitant to ask.

She paused for a short minute, which unnerved him causing his eyes to water, already expecting what was to come next.

“I’m sorry your sisters Yuzu and Karin have passed.” she replied dropping her gaze to the floor.

Ichigo's tears traveled freely now as he covered his mouth to try and stifle his sobs. 

“Even Karin?” he managed disbelieving.

“Karin unfortunately didn’t make it past her surgery. The damage was too great.” she continued solemnly.

She waited there with him for a while so he wouldn’t be left alone with the traumatic news. Even went to sit next to him so he had a shoulder to cry on. Ichigo accepted her aid instantly as he continued to weep. Eventually Ichigo settled down and let go of the nurse he ruthlessly clung to.

“Sorry.” he said while letting go.

“It’s ok dear, nothing to be sorry about.” she replied.

“What about my dad? Where is he?”

“The last I heard was that Mr. Kurosaki was speaking with the police. That was four days ago.”

“Wait four days?”

“Yes, you were unconscious for almost four days.” she stated.

“Oh...am I allowed to leave?” he asked.

“Once we make sure you’re strong enough to leave and all your vitals are normal, you should be permitted to leave. Most likely not for another day or two.”

“Ok, thank you.” he practically whispered.

“I’ll leave you alone now, is there anything you need before I go?” she inquired.

Ichigo thought for a minute, “Can I have some water?”

“Of course.” she said before leaving.

She returned shortly handing him a small glass of cold water. “Anything else dear?”

“No thank you. Oh wait actually I never got your name.” he said questioningly.

“I’m nurse Akane.” she smiled before leaving.

Ichigo sipped his water providing instant relief to his parched throat. He glanced at his table stand to his right and grabbed the get-well card in his right hand while sipping his water in his other. He reluctantly opened it to reveal its contents.

 _"Dear Son,"_ it started. June 19

_How are you? I hope you’re well. By now you’ve probably heard of your sisters...the funerals have already been prepared. I don’t know if you’ll be awake and strong enough to attend them but thought I’d write you this just in case. I’m so sorry Ichigo. I should’ve been there. This is my fault. Not yours. Please forgive me, I never meant for this to happen. I’ve come to a decision, one I might live to regret, but I’ve found that i’m the cause of you’re misery. First it was your mother and now its your sisters too. To save you from the same fate i’ve decided...I can’t rebuild that...that house of death. So instead moving somwhere far away. I’m going to miss you son but don’t come looking for me. I don’t want you too, this is hard enough as is, everything will be better off this way trust me. By the time you wake up and read this I’ll already be gone. Live a happy fulfilling life Ichigo you’re strong enough to get through this I know you are. I love you son._

_Your Father,_  
_Isshin Kurosaki_

_P.S. The house is yours if you want it and the funerals are on the 23rd at Karakura Cemetery._

Ichigo stared at the card blankly before reading it again, then a third time. He’d probably read it about a hundred times before the message sunk in. He threw the card away as if it seared his hand. ‘How could you and now of all times?! How could you abandon me when I need you the most?’ he sagged under the covers cursing and hating his dad. ‘Everyone keeps leaving me behind, maybe I should join them. At least then I wouldn’t feel like this.’ he pondered.

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Rukia was heading back to the soul society to report what had happened. She wished she could stay by Ichigo's side, but she didn’t have any idea as to when he would wake up. Thus she was forced to go back to the soul society to report in. Captain Ukitake didn’t take news well, he felt unimaginable sorrow for the boy. Rukia could see it written all over his face and she was no better herself.

“Thank you Rukia i’ll take it from here.” Jushiro said dismissing Rukia.

Rukia didn’t feel like speaking on the matter any more then her captain did. Having been dismissed she left sluggishly before making her way home to rest. During which time Jushiro requested for a captains meeting, feeling this to be an urgent matter. Captain Yamato of squad one seemed to agree because he immediately called for the meeting upon hearing the distressing news. Having been an immediate summons of all captains it didn’t take long for them all to gather.

“Welcome. Since all squad captains are now accounted for I hereby start the immediate summons captains meeting.” Yamato stated.

“What’s all the fuss about now?” Mayuri spits.

“Captain Ukitake please inform the others of the situation.” Yamato damanded

“Yes head captain. I requested a meeting regarding substitute soul reaper Ichigo Kurosaki. The developing case of the two missing soul reapers posted guard in the living world has been resolved.”

“So what’s the problem then?” Mayuri inquires.

“The problem is that Ichigo was involved in the case. As a result he’s lost his two sisters and his father is nowhere to be found, at this current point in time.” Jushiro clarifies.

“And that’s our problem how?” Mayuri questions.

“Because Ichigo Kurosaki is an ally to the soul society, a crucial one at that. His unstable mindset could lead to disastrous consequences.” Yamato states.

“Which could lead him to blame us for it.” Soi-Fon states.

“That’s correct. In light of this situation I will be assigning one captain here today to look after the substitute soul reaper Ichigo Kurosaki. After much thought I’ve decided that Captain Hitsugaya will be the one to take such a task.” Yamato states.

“May I ask why me head captain?” Toushirou asks slightly flustered.

“Because out of all the captains here you are the one who knows him best, since you are the one who’s been in the most contact with our substitute soul reaper.” Yamato explains.

“Wouldn’t lieutenant Rukia Kuchiki be better suited then?” Toushirou asks.

“No because I find it prominent that someone of a captains level be the one to restrain him should he turn his blade on the seireitei.” he clarifies. “Do you believe anyone else here is better suited Captain Hitsugaya?” Yamato asks.

Toushirou thinks for a moment “No head captain.”

“Very well then I hereby appoint Captain Toushirou Hitsugaya, overseer of Ichigo Kurosaki's well being. His well being will be your top priority. With that this captains meeting is now adjourned.” he bangs his stick.

Toushirou flushes his way out amongst the other captains before making way for his office. ‘How did I get myself wrapped up into this? Not only do I have to worry about Rangiku but now Ichigo too. It’s like i’m running a daycare or something and on top of all that i’ve got a mountain of paperwork. And to think he’s now at the very top of my list of things to help. How am I ever going to help him? I’m not the fix people type, where do I even begin? No that questions easy. He no longer has anyone to fall back on according to the report. So the first thing to do is go to the living world and access his living conditions. Wait the report also states his residence suffered major damage. So where’s he gonna live?!’ Toushirou analyzes.

He finally makes his way back to his office to find Rangiku laying on the sofa with a bottle in her hand. This doesn’t surprise Toushirou he’s grown rather use to it.

“Rangiku, just the person I wanted to see.” he states.

“Oh hey captain. Back already?” She slurs.

“Yes, and it’s a serious matter. I need your advice.” 

Immediately sobering up “What is is?” she asks.

“I’ve been put in charge of Ichigos well being. Furthermore he’s to be my top priority.”

“Top priority? Well being? Has something happened?” she questions.

“Ichigos lost his siblings and his father’s no longer in the picture.”

“Oh my god. How?” she asks disbelievingly.

“It’s a long story but to sum it up the hallow that presumably took the life of two posted soul reapers was the cause.”

“So what do you need my advice with?”

“He’s all alone and his house is reported to have major damage. The first thing to do is to establish his living quarters, but I don’t know where to put him.” he says clearly frustrated.

“Well what about his friends or Orihime? Can’t they help?” she asks.

“The file says they all moved quite some distance away from Karakura, to attend greater schooling.”

“Well captain since he’s your responsibility now...you could always...I don't know, bring him here and provide for him _here_.” she implies with a devious grin gracing her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! Happy holidays! I hope everyone has a wonderful time! Until next time.


	5. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this Chapter I uses these ' for when something is in thought or that's what that person is thinking ('example')  
> And of course the quotation marks " are when someones speaking out loud. ("example")  
> so yea dont get them confused it might mess you up lol anyways enjoy.

The funeral’s in two days on the 23rd and Ichigo's mental state hasn’t improved much. ‘The funeral’s on the 23rd’ the words painfully scratching the back of his mind, as if he was forcing himself to remember. When all he really wanted to do was forget. Only a couple of days have gone by and Ichigo's Night-Terrors didn’t let up once. Therefore he thought it best to simply not sleep. The nurses didn’t seem to noticed and if they did, they didn’t show it. He tried taking his mind off it all by trying to watch tv but failing miserably; for every moment of time spent with his family during movie nights came flooding back in, only to continuously remind him of what he wants to forget. His sense of peace is completely gone, he’s certain he has very dark circles under his eyes. Most everyone would certainly be asking the questions they already know the answers to. They’d ask him if he was sleeping and eating well; if he’s okay. 

He’s glad he hasn’t been asked those questions, he doesn’t like to lie; but in order to make them stop asking questions, he’d have to say he’s fine and that he’s just a little tired. That’s exactly what this hospital was doing to him, making him dreadfully tired. As if his sleeping troubles weren’t enough, he’s seeming becoming numb, physically. Plenty of people complain about hospital food but Ichigo can’t really taste the food at all. His hearing sounds like it’s coming from afar; like someone speaking to him through a phone, but faded. The blood that had gotten into his eyes during the ‘incident’ didn’t improve his eyesight either. But Ichigo’s ready to leave and what the medical professionals don’t know won’t hurt them; and in fact will help him to get out of his confined space.

As if being bestowed one wish-“Good news Mr. Kurosaki.” the nurse from earlier said opening the door. “I have your reports, looks like you’re all set to check out. You’ll be prescribed some medication for the blunt force trauma to your head. Luckily there was no major damage dealt so all it’ll be is pain medication…”

“I want to leave.” he interrupted.

She took a moment but eventually replied “I’ll get everything ready for you, Mr. Kurosaki. You’ll have to sign a few things before you can go though.”

“Okay I will, thank you.” and with that she went to begin Ichigo exit application.

 

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Ichigo checked out of the hospital and made way for the public transport trains. It occurred to him that he had no place to go or stay and he never wants to go back to ‘that house’ again; but has little idea as to what to do or where to go now. So he just starts walking instead of boarding a train. Nowhere in particular just somewhere that’s not there. He came about an excluded area with a bench in what seemed to be a park of sorts, well hidden from public view; ‘perfect’ he thought. He sat there for what felt like forever; forever in hell. He concluded his life was over, and now he’s just a waste of space, completely useless to everyone. What’s a broken sword good for after all? 

‘Then perhaps you should just kill yourself!’ A cackle screamed through his mind. 

“Go away.” Ichigo said with little energy. 

‘King, oh my dear king. I’m loving the new you! Zangetsu however...well, he isn’t too thrilled... but who cares!’ Another insane chuckle. 

“Shut up! It’s because of you! You hollows killed my family” He broke out screaming. 

‘Hollows like me?’ the white hollow scoffed. ‘You know you’re right, I am a hollow...but i’m also you. Hollows killed your family, and since we’re the same one could say you too, killed your family.’ 

“I swear if you don’t stop talking i’ll…” 

‘You’ll what?’ his hollow interrupted ‘Kill yourself?’ he dared. 

“Yes, I just might do that.” Ichigo states “That’ll shut you up” no response. “That’s what I thought.”

“Who are you talking to Ichigo?” Toushirou asks carefully.

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“Captain!” Rangiku bursts into his headquarters.

“What is it?” Toushirou questions.

“It’s Ichigo sir. He’s been released from the hospital.”

This gains his immediate attention “Where is he now?”

“We don’t know sir.” her answer was quick.

“I see…I’m going, make the necessary preparations.” He orders getting ready to leave.

“They’re already ready for you sir.” she states.

Slightly confused, “Thorough aren’t they?” he didn’t intend to say that out loud. ‘Dammit’ he thought.

Rangiku somewhat bewildered herself replied “Yes they are.”

After a moment of silence she asked “Shouldn’t I come with you?”

“No. It’s best if I alone just go. We don’t want to crowd him.”

“I understand.” Rangiku took some offense to the term crowd, as if she could crowd anyone.

“So what will you do sir?”

“I don’t know just yet, but i’ll figure it out.” He promised before heading out.

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Toushirou made his way into the living world forgoing the gigai determining it would slow him down. He hopped from building to building seeking Ichigo's spirit energy, having locked onto him the instant he was through the senkaimon. Many questions went through his mind amidst his traveling. ‘What do I even say? Sorry we didn’t see the hollow that killed your siblings coming? Want to come live in the soul society maybe you’ll see them there? Of course I can’t ask him that. Dammit. Maybe i’ll just ask him if he’s okay. No wait, that’s stupid. Of course he isn’t okay. Dammit I don’t know what to do in a case like this. Whatever i’ll just go with whatever sounds best.’

Toushirou comes to an abandoned field like opening, scouring about. ‘He’s somewhere around here...aha there he is.’ 

Toushirou gets close enough, just in earshot when he hears “Maybe i’ll do just that. That’ll shut you up...that’s what I thought.”

Confused Toushiro asks “Ichigo? Who are you talking to?”

Startled, Ichigo turns his head, “Toushirou? What are you doing here?”

Deciding it was best to move onto another subject Toushirou takes a minute before he starts “I heard about what happened, I’m sorry for your loss.”

Taking a moment to fully comprehend what Toushirou said to him Ichigo thanks him.

“Are you okay?” Toushirou asks.  
Ichigo sighs, “I’m fine.”

‘Dammit! I’m such an idiot!’ Toushirou internally screams at himself for having asked that question. “I’m sorry.” he corrects.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to apologize, Toushirou.” Ichigo met his eyes briefly.

This time Toushirou, and for probably the foreseeable future, won’t insist on Ichigo calling him ‘Captain Hitsugaya’. Instead he just stands there awkwardly not knowing what to do. He tries to think of something to say fast, but suddenly Ichigo speaks up.

“The funeral is tomorrow.”

At this Toushirou takes all of Ichigo in. He’s extremely pale, he notes, and his clothes must’ve been the exact same ones from the day of the incident. They were washed but you can still clearly see the rustic stains of blood that seeped into the fabric. Ichigo himself looked to be on the skinnier side. He was hunched over, his head bandaged, and his face held a very depressed expression. But his eyes; they put Toushirou on edge, they’re cold as if there’s no life in him. One the bench beside was a little white paper bag. These findings forced Toushirou to question just how “fine” Ichigo really was.

Toushirou was quiet for awhile, while observing him. Ichigo barely acknowledged his presence. He finished his examination and begin to choose his words carefully.

“When are they?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh right, they’re tomorrow at noon.” Ichigo replied.

“Okay...Let’s find a place to stay and then get you a change of clothes.”

“What?” he asked baffled, giving Toushirou his full attention, still not making eye contact though.

Toushirou slipped into his gigai gracefully before proceeding. “Come on. We’ll get a hotel somewhere nearby.”

“Wait Toushirou, what are talking about?” he asked still utterly confused.

Toushirou thought a moment on how to answer that, “I’m here for you, if you need someone to talk to Ichigo.” He paused, then added “I’m here to help you.” He started walking to the nearest hotel and Ichigo reluctantly followed. After a few minutes of processing the young captains words he caught up to Toushirou and solemnly thanked him.

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After walking for a while with content silence, Toushirou and Ichigo finally made it to a hotel.

They both walked up to the receptionist lady and prompting Toushirou to start. “Um, we need a couple of rooms please.”

The lady looked between Ichigo and Toushirou somewhat taken aback and asked “Okie, and how many rooms do you need?”

“Two if you please.” he replied.

“Hmm looks like we’re all booked on singles at the moment, well not exactly.” she said.

“Well what do you have available?” he asked growing annoyed.

“Looks like we do have one single one bed, but that’s all for those, and the other one we have is a single room with two beds if you would like that one?”

Toushirou looked at ichigo silently asking what he wanted to do and Ichigo spoke up “We’ll take the two beds please.”

“Alrighty then” she started typing, “Can I get your ID?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah sure, here.” Ichigo said, Toushirou simply observing.

“That your little brother?” she asks Ichigo.

“Uh, yea he is.” Ichigo rubs his head clearly agitated while Toushirou appears to be the same.

“What grade? No wait let me guess, he’s in middle school.” she practically proclaims.

Toushirou fuming now butts in “I’m right here you know and actually i’m older than…”

“That!” Ichigo stops Toushirous sentence. “He’s older than that actually he’s in his last year of highschool.” Ichigo laughs trying to play off his sudden interjection.

“Oh i’m so sorry for assuming that, it's just he’s so...uh never mind here’s your guys’s keys, payment after your stay, room 205.” she smiled sheepishly.

“Thanks.” Ichigo says lightly kicking an on-the-edge about to lose it Toushirou, instructing him to follow.

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They both made it to their room. It wasn’t very spacious, but there were two twin beds just as promised, a nightstand in between the two beds with a single lamp, pen n’ notepad on it, a TV mounted on the wall towards the feet of the two beds, and another door leading to the full bath. Ichigo took the bed closest to the entrance and Toushirou the other nearer the bathroom door. They didn’t have anything to unpack except Ichigo’s little paper bag, which he put on their shared nightstand before sitting on the bed. 

“Ichigo.” 

“Yeah?”

Toushirou took a moment, “We should get you some new clothes.”

Ichigo hadn’t thought about what he was wearing and now that he is he’s amazed the lady receptionist didn’t question him about it, “Yeah that would probably be best.”

“Okay uh, here.” Toushirou grabs the pen and notepad, “Write down what you want me to get and the size, and i’ll go get it.” he hands him the pen n’ pad.

Ichigo eyes the pen n’ pad in his hands, “I can go with you…”

“No. You should get some rest for tomorrow, you need it.” he stops him.

“But i’m fine really.” Ichigo tries. Toushirou merely looks at him and Ichigo meets his eyes for a second before giving up, looking back to the pen n’ pad. He writes what he wants, a black long sleeve t-shirt and black pants with his sizes, and gives the pen n’ pad back to Toushirou. 

“Okay i’ll be back; you should get some rest.” he said before leaving.

A half hour after Toushirou left Ichigo's memories of that day kept coming back to haunt him, the gruesome images still fresh in is mind as well as all the horrifying sounds that came with them. The moving of jaws, the screaming, bones breaking...he stopped his thoughts on the verge of another panic attack. He was sweating and panting hard, clutching at the fabric atop his heart. Fortunately it was then that he realized that he felt dirty and really needed a shower. There were towels thankfully and he opted for taking a shower now counting on Toushirou being back with his new clothes by the time he gets out. Once he stripped down, tested the waters temperature, and got in; it hit him. It was then that he realized, “How is he going to pay for anything? I still have my wallet right (He slid opened the blurred glass sliding door, sure enough his wallet was still in his pants back pocket) and I didn’t give him any money. Dammit, i’m an awful person. I can’t help anybody…his help is wasted on me.”

‘That’s right you’re completely useless’ his hollow chided in.

“Shut up!” he yelled.

‘But you are. Couldn’t even save your sister!’ he cackles.

“Go away!”

‘What did you do Ichigo? Huh, what did you do to help her out?’ his hollow mocks him.

“Shut up.” Ichigo's voice barely comes out as a whisper.

‘That’s right NOTHING!’ he cackles, ‘That’s all you could do. You just stood there and watched.’

Ichigo begins to frantically hyperventilate “No! I tried! I couldn’t…” 

‘You couldn’t save her. Instead you let her suffering drag out. You’re pathetic, no...you’re a coward! You should just die, or better yet let me take over for awhile!’ his hollow laughs maniacally.

“No you’re wrong, y-your wrong!” he exclaims.

‘Then why are you having a panic attack if it’s not true?’ the hollow counters

“I’m not!” he says.

A dark chuckle sent chills down Ichigo’s spine ‘But you know what’s even worse? Your daddy loved your sisters so much more than you, that when you let them die he didn’t want anything to do with you!’

Ichigo inhaled sharply his mind going fuzzy, “I can’t breath.” He tried but it was like he was choking on air.

‘He hates you. He loathes you!’ endless laughter came from the hollow.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, “Ichigo I have some clothes for you.” Toushirou spoke through the door.

“Toushirou…help” Ichigo tried to yell but all that came out was winded garbled mesh, and he collapsed to the floor.

Toushirou heard the loud thump on the other side of the door. “Ichigo! Hey Ichigo!” he frantically opened the door, found it wasn’t locked. “Ichigo I’m coming in!” Peering through the blurred glass he could tell Ichigo had fallen. He turned off the water before helping Ichigo sit up right so he wouldn’t inhale any water. “Bare with me a moment” he said grabbing a towel covering Ichigo before heading to prepare his bed. He quickly removed the blanket covers and placed down some extra towels. Afterwards he went to carefully pick up Ichigo as best he could carrying and almost stumbling him all the way to the bed. Gently laying him down, before covering him up with the blankets he had tossed aside earlier. 

‘This is not the Ichigo I remember’ Toushirou thought. ‘He use to be so strong willed and dedicated no matter what. Broke into the damn seireitei to save someone he just met. Seeing you like this now makes me feel conflicted?’ Toushirou gravely underestimated the severity of Ichigos condition. The past few hours shed some light oh Ichigo's mental health. He’s skeptical of being any help whatsoever. He found himself saying something unexpected-“I’m not so sure i’m the best person for the job Ichigo but i’ll help anyway that I can.” He’s not sure why he said it but he’s glad he did. Toushirou need to tend to Ichigo's wound on his head but couldn’t find anything to do so with. Almost freaking out with worry, which was unlike him, his eye caught on the white paper bag Ichigo brought with him. Having a hunch he went over and opened it up found painkillers, a couple of soft pads, some ointment, and bandages. He pulled out everything he’d need and fixed Ichigo up as best he could. When he went to go put everything back in a gust of wind came in through the window and knocked the bag over and off the bed. Toushirou sighed annoyed by this and got up to close the window.

When he went to pick up the bag he noticed something extra was there. It looked like a paper card. Toushirou picked up the bag and pulled out the card. Upon reading it’s contents the temperature in the room dropped significantly. Outrage filled his mind. Outrage of the most powerful sense. He’s never felt this way before and it’s all because of one person. If he didn’t hate him before he certainly does now.

“I’ll kill him. I’m going to send you to hell Isshin Kurosaki.” his words like venom and just as cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They've finally met whahahaha! Whatever will happen next I wonder. Also btw terribly sorry for the ridiculously late update I’ll try my best to make sure that doesn’t happen again. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> A cliff hanger? Whaaaaaat? I swear I didn't mean too. Pinky swear. JK totally meant to, gotta keep you entertained while in suspense somehow. If there are any typos please let me know in the comments and i'll try and fix them when I can. And now the wait whahaha ;)


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